Letting go

He was right. My boyfriend. I was afraid of letting myself feel again. After all that I lived, after all that happened I was so afraid to feel, and I felt so secure living a calm, seroius relationship, that I didn't want to let go my feelings.

But it wasn't fair to "punish" him for what I lived before, for what other men did to me. He is being loyal, commited and true. So, he deserves to know the good side of me also. 

He has proved to know me, for better and for worse. He has proved to be in love with me, despite my demons and my madness, and he is still here. And he will be here for a long time. 

So, it was time for me to unleash the power of my feelings again. Those strong feelings that learned to stay in calm, can now be released to flow towards him, because he is there for me and he is letting his feelings to flow towards me.

I am letting my wilderness to be free again, and it feels good :)

So in love...

As time goes by, it all seems to be fitting.

The more I pray, the more I see things between me and my boyfriend are going right. I feel now that I've never been so in love before... or maybe, not like this.

We've got plans, solid plans, for our future. He has shown me all he wants to do to make his home comfortable for me and Vale, to make it OUR home.

I can truly say he is the man I want to live with until we both get old and die; he is the man I want to share my evenings with, he is the man I want to spend my days talking about whatever comes to our minds, he is the man I want to kiss good night and good morning for the rest of our lives.

I finally found my mate. And no matter what my preachers said, it still feels right to me :)

Back again...

I can't get this over yet, for he is still coming around, flashing me with that radiant look and his wide smile.
Lying in bed, next to him, feeling his heartbeat in my ear, makes me think it is all worthy, just to be with him in moments like that.
I'm falling in love, can't deny it, and I already lost all my will to escape or finish this.
So, let's see where this road takes us in the end...

Something I heard on TV...

Love is like a butterfly: you hold it too tight and you crush it... too loose and it flyes away...

Guess I've not find the right way to hold it yet, for it keeps crushing or flying away from me...

It is so easy to get used to good things, that I am already missing him. He travels a lot, due to job stuff... we don't get to see each other as much as we would like to... and in the beginning I used to say: "It's OK... this way we won't fall in love too fast"... but I am already missing him.

I miss his kisses, his hugs, the way he looks at me, his gentle and wide smile everytime he sees me... I wanna see his face again, with those kiddy and sparkling eyes, looking at me, releasing that wonderful smile he just can't hide when he first sees me, everytime we meet :)

I want to feel his hands around me once again, holding my head before he kisses me, hugging me tender and firmly.

I never thought I would end up missing a hairy chest, loving a beird... but I do. I hope he misses me the same way I am already missing him, for I am already counting the hours to see him again...

Still here :)

He´s still here, and every day we spend together it's a bride new surprise.

We don't see each other as much as we would like to, because of our jobs and family dates, but whenever we meet, it is really great.

We have not spoken about a relationship. We are not in a commitment. But still, he is the most serious and stable relationship I've had with a guy in years... really.

I now remember how does it feel to have a date, go to the theater, have a drink, dance, kiss, walk by the street hand in hand...

I'm not in love yet. But if this keeps going on like this, I will certainly be sometime... soon ;)